But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
