its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
