btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
