she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
