you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have aggressive nipples.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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