Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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