are you so shy because you have an std?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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