id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
