Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
