If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
