I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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