My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
