I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
