She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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