Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
