Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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