I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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