tell your sister to shave her snatch
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
