it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
