I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
