Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
