similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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