Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
