Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
