This house was built for laser tag.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
