if you like me you must not know who I am
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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