My liver just broke up with me...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
