um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
