Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
