So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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