You can't special order awesome
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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