she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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