I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize