It's like God shit irony all over that family
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
