We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
