Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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