There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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