Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
