I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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