I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
