So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
