Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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