there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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