therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize