I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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