Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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