In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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