so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
