so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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