I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
