i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
