...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
