we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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