those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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