I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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