It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
