YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
