I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize