I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize