I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
