Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
