I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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